Andy Palasciano

The Calculations

I took a bite of mushrooms,

an extra-large bite so I got

the response I wanted from my friend,

who said, “Cool!”

The concert arena was dark, and I have

never heard so many evil voices in my head.

About half an hour into the show,

I had an experience where I thought I had

made calculations of the universe and

understood it.

I ran into the halls of the arena and there

were people dancing, spinning around, and I

was pushing them.

I remember my sister telling me a story.

They brought their very big and rough friend

to a show and he was walking around the parking lot

knocking people’s hats off their heads.

I made my way back to our seat and was

dancing violently.

I remember hearing the medical team,

assessing me behind me,

that I was showing signs of psychosis.

This would be the beginning of many years

of psyche meds and therapy.

I remember waking up the day after the show,

where I was convinced I figured something out

that I hadn’t.

But I woke up the next morning and said,

“The calculations.”